Setting Boundaries: Protecting Your Relationship
Inspiring insights for personal growth and meaningful relationships
Edition #9 | Date: July 21st 2024
We are back after a long break! It’s Sunday and today we will look into boundaries both inside and outside the relationship.
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Establishing and Respecting Boundaries for a Healthier Relationship
Before we can dig into the importance of boundaries, it might be wise to clearly understand the term: A boundary is a limit we set to protect ourselves and the relations around us. A boundary can be to protect our emotional, physical or mental well-being. They define both what we are comfortable with and how we let other people treat us.
If we start within the relationship, a healthy relationship has set clear boundaries, so both parties feel valued and secure. Boundaries allow you to maintain your sense of self, foster open communication and build trust. Without talking about boundaries you will experience unnecessary hurt in the relationship when one of you unintentionally crosses one. Boundaries to the outside world are just as necessary to protect the relationship and the people within it.
Relationship session for boundaries [30-60 minutes]:
Reflect on your needs. What makes you feel safe and secure and what makes you feel triggered and anxious? You can write it down.
Get comfortable on the couch / grab a coffee, go for a long walk and talk about your boundaries and why they are important to you. Give each other time to talk and listen.
We don’t have the same boundaries, so do not get agitated if one forgets a boundary. However, be consistent and enforce it.
Support and communication are big factors in maintaining boundaries. If you do not talk about a crossed boundary your partner will not know, but if you set it too strictly it can also be hurtful. Try to understand and actknowledge both of your needs and resolve issues calmly and together.
Couple’s Corner
Nishi: Dealing with anxious attachment, one of the hardest parts for me has been to accept Nori’s need for alone time. I have been working on my lack of understanding of why he needed it, and he worked on his lack of telling me his need for a long time. As I started to work on my self-worth, I got a newly found understanding of the importance of being alone too.
Nori: Growing up as a refugee kid, I have had a hard time expressing my emotional boundaries. The only boundaries I knew were literal ones, like the borders of countries or the border of my body; from tip to toe and my private-sphere. So, self-sufficiency and self-defence became vital for enforcing these borders. I lacked the language to express my emotional boundaries and thus I developed an avoidant attachment style.
Q-section
A quote we're pondering and a question for you to reflect upon.
Quote: "Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously” - Prentis Hemphill (note down)
Question: “What are my non-negotiables in a relationship, and how can I assert them effectively?”
That was this week’s letter. We hope you enjoyed it and found it useful. If there is anything you want to ask us about, fear not to reach out, either by responding to the letter or by IG:
Remember, healthy boundaries are a sign of self-respect and respect for your partner, paving the way for a stronger, more fulfilling connection.